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Now available at McSweeney’s: David Attenborough Narrates My Orgasm (My sincerest apologies to Sir David, but it was worth it.)

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Condiment aisle
Condiment aisle

After a span of hours so unremarkable she could cry, Sam had found herself standing in the condiment aisle of a grocery store. She was a prisoner, surrounded by row after claustrophobic row of perfectly placed products, with perfectly designed packaging, lit by perfectly placed spotlights, mocking her, daring her to try to buy something amidst so much choice. 

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Witness
Witness

When the desk lamp opened its single eye, it illuminated various curiosities scattered across a makeshift desk. A jar filled to its lips with sea glass fragments, misfit buttons and pocket change from distant places. A dusty stapler atoned quietly for a lifetime of pierced paper and epidermis.

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Slice of life
Slice of life

The paring knife slipped and sunk through the soft pink flesh on the index finger of her left hand, just below the second knuckle. She inhaled but remained still, watching as blood blossomed into a perfect sphere. 

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My daily reminder: “You’ve got to realize that it’s not enough to be not racist – you need to be vehemently, proactively anti-racist.” — John Amaechi, British psychologist #blacklivesmatter #blackouttuesday
Last stop beforeDalt Lake City... Dead Horse Canyon. Possibly more beautiful than the Grand Canyon. #deadhorsepoint #utah #family #roadtrip #almostthere
It seemed fitting to visit Corona Arch today. The national parks are closed, which means we explored hikes and arches that we would have never found otherwise. #coronaarch #moab #utah #jeeparch #bowtiearch #almostthere
Playing tourist in our new home state. #utah #wilsonsarch #towmater
Enjoying a beautiful Albuquerque sunset. #familytime #albuquerque #utahherewecome #sunset
Three different skate parks across three different states in one day? Sure thing. #roadtrip #sogladwepackedthescooters #family #utahherewecome #scooter #skatelife #newmexico #colorado #utah
My favorite roadside stop so far, just outside Amarillo, Texas. A local millionaire funded this outdoor art installation in 1974 and it’s still going strong. #cadillacranch #art #spraypaint #outdoorart #roadtrip #utahorbust #i40 #amarillo
Halfway. Covered NC, TN, AR and OK. Spent too short of time with family and friends that was much overdue. Visited @tmorganfilms birthplace. Got a flat tire. Wore masks, lost masks, bought new masks. Enjoyed new scenery, ate in actual restaurants, fo
Here we go! A few thousand miles and we will be there. #roadtrip #nextchapter #family #crosscountry
When your kid leaves you a motivational note. ❤️ #wfh #parenting #covid19 #whenkidsdotheparenting #icannotbestopped
It was crowded at the home office/school today. #workfromwherever #corona #familytime
When your family of six wants to play Ticket to Ride, you improvise to add a sixth player. #jellybeantrain #tickettoride #boardgames #familytime
After watching the Netflix show “Nailed It”, we attempted our own baking competition. Check out the results of the final six cakes. #nailedit #eastercakeoff #triedourbest
Of all the world’s rules, this one seems profoundly unnecessary. #nohammocks #gazebo #sillysigns
A rainy walk on Easter morning. #familytime #rainy
Adults and teens can have fun with chalk too. #chalkart #bored
A sign of the coming apocalypse... Peeps with no eyes. #peeps #apocalypse
We pulled my grandmother’s old china and instituted tea time everyday. We’re making it a shelter-in-place family tradition because the only good thing to come from Covid-19 is having all our kids around one table. #covidlife #newtradition
Scooter time. Always a good way to soothe the mind. #outside #scooter #sortoflikeschool
I don’t make my bed. Ever. But the past few days, I’ve started to. I think it brings a sense of order and control that’s lacking in all other places in our lives right now. #makeyourbedtostaysane #covid_19 #flattenthecurve